Dreaming 20

Oh dear bloggie.. i'm extremely exhausted for these past few days.. uberly tired with body aching madness.. and i feel so moodless.. not moody.. just felt no feeling, as if i'm in a body without soul.. really feeling downside up of my life..

I dislike this life.. but knew this is the only way i can keep going and continue my journey ahead of me. Believe me; i dunno where am i heading.. and sometimes, i wonder what is it when i actually not exist in this world. P/s: i'm in a dark mood now.. XP

Been so so so busy and no time at all for me to blog; how i wish once i off my work, i so wanna fall on my bed and sleep till the next morning. I've neglected alot of my fav facebook games.. only hogging my iphone games but the battery is sucks.. it finished darn fast and almost every day i charge my battery.. and now my iphone gimme problems.. apparently i can't transfer new games from the iphone through itunes.. so so so ma fan and it annoys me a lot! Just pray it does not crash my setting and lock it again.. =( Please please please dear iphone baby please let me install some new games inside.. I've just finished Chaos Rings by Square Enix.. huhu.. and stupid itunes ter-delete that game. Darn pissed.. i'd played that so many days liao le..

I'm very very very stressed!

This job is tough because of the nonstop assessments and rush module learning.. Today we learn, the next day assessment.. @_@ I don't even have the mood to study whatevery i learned on that day and the next day vomit all out in the paper. Dad was thinking as if i'm going for a lecture class.. indeed.. i felt the same thing and it's tiring! I hate assessment. The passing mark was high.. for example, the assessment was 50 marks, i got 36/50 but i failed because the passing mark was 40 above.

Knowing myself too well, i always tend to do mistakes and especially the sudden assessment.. how on earth i can do well when i never practise at all, just listen during training and by fingertips.. hello.. i'm still learning and i will always try my best to understand but at the same time, i need your moral support.. not just annoying show bla bla bla and snap finger while said "assessment time now!" That is no wonder got some trainees will fail because of your training method.

Apparently, we are the first batch to go through dunno what so ever new training method where the trainer only incharge of 30% in the training, 70% from ourselves. Yep, not full training support. And we are under hybrid; we not just focusing on one product but three; credit card, personal loan, & mortgage loan.. =_=;; Because many of us especially i'm the weakest actually did quite badly, we yet to proceed to module 2 yet.. still stuck under credit card..

Probably i need to hunt for a plan B now.. T_T but i definitely love my work location.. so near my house le... so so so convenient to me.. Everyday, i so reluctant go to work and not close with some colleagues.. probably i'm the only chinese girl, i'm so lost in there..

All i wish is to be happy, always and forever.